Not Married over 40

Last I spoke about scorned men and that I have one. Let me briefly explain about the reasons, well first he was engaged years ago but she messed it up and was with someone else. They say that they are two sides to every story well for the matter you can never change a h-- into a housewife. The second well something similar but like I said before there are two sides but I witnessed a phone call and boy it put thoughts in my ear. So when I met this man he had explain to me why he tatooed those two years on his wrists, it is because he was really hurt. You know what I told him Jesus if tatooed all the times I was hurt, boy my whole body would be covered. Well as you can see how much this will have a man say or do. When a man is scorned it is very hard for them to open up to another woman, in my case it is driving me crazy but I could not take it anymore so i had to leave him. I did everything to show this man how much I love him but it just was not enough. Believe it or not he calls me every now and then but then backs down. It pisses me off with him up until a couple of weeks ago that I told him I am not playing any games, he try to tell me that the things I told him havent settled so it is what it is. do you know how much i hate that saying "it is what it is", so I just plainly without even getting all upset and told him to stop feeling like that and call me when he is ready to really open up with me well its been what about 2 weeks and nothing so as for me I am moving on and staying as single as I can.

Not Married Over 40

Last I spoke about the reasons that men give when they cheat. Well the other day I ran into a friend of mine that is 30yrs old and not married. I stopped him and sked him what is going on, he said that is a little depressed. I akes him why, he continued by saying that he realized how much he really was in love with his daughter's mother when she confessed to him that she does not love him anymore and is in love and has been in a realtionship with another guy for the last 3 years. He said that he wanted to explode but he could not because he was shocked at the fact that his feeling were destroyed by this news. Now here is a young good looking guy that is a mess with the ladies, and one thing is when you live in a housing project everyone will know your business. Now I told him," did it ever occur to you the crap that you have put her through" he answered, " I told her if this is how you felt when I put you through crap I am sooooo sorry" I told him," you did the right thing as a man and apologized to her for everything that you put her through and now you have to man up because what he is feeling is what we women feel when men like you have it good with a woman and f--ks it up!'

Check out the links and see for ourself the women tand the surveys on how often do men apologize.

Not Married Over 40

Ok so the question is, should we forgive our husbands or boyfriends when they are caught cheating? well first thing first, I forgave my boyfriend when I found out that he was cheating, why? well because, now I know that this is stupid, I loved him enough to forgive. well I will be the first to admit yeah STUPID. Well majority of the forgivers are women. Men seldomly forgives but they make something crazy out of it because its not them doing the cheating. In this article you can see there are alot of reasons why we women forgive, it is because our hearts are better and bigger. This article written in the Los Angelos Times by Marnell Jameson talks about when a spouse cheats, now there are alot of reasons for this and you have to think about the answer to this, in my opinion there is no right or wrong answer the reason is always the same and guess what that is.

Not Married Over 40

Last I commented on one of the articles I picked and it was about a woman that wrote about can women trust a husband after he cheated, this raised an eyebrow, my mother always told me to fight for your husband not for your boufriend, that stood with me throughout all these years reason be is that she did fight for her husband even though my father cheated on her. now i was young so I did not know or think about it, my mom came to tell me when I got older and my dad had past on. In this article Dr. Gail Saltz, she is a Today, CNBC Contributer, she advises a young lady that did catch her dad but by snooping. She tells her that it is not her business to tell her mom, Question would you tell your mom your dad is cheating? Hell yeah I would and I would confront him first. I do not care if my mom would get hurt, im hurting because I know so we both going to hurt and get over it.

Unlike my last blog my mom did forgive my dad after all, but she told me also that made her a strong woman and I realized growing up especially when my dad became ill how much he neede my mom and my mom stuck by him till the very end and believe it or not my mom stood by herself not wanting no other man.

This is something to think about because we are from a different generation that does not take any crap, now how would we handle this had it been us in this situation, unlike my mom forgiveness, she forgave my dad and managed to stay by his side and mind you my mom was a stasy at home mom never had to work and did everything to hold it down, I always admire that about her, toughness.

This article is about woman asking the question, "Women who have been cheated on and forgave thier husbands or boyfriends?" some of the comments are not as surprising as you would think.

Not Married Over 40

Last thing I was talking about on my blog was about not being bitter over a man. Well what I am talking about is that sometimes we do not expect for certain things to happen when you are in a relationship and in love. Question, Should we really be aware of the man you are dealing with? Well in my opinion yes we need to be aware, in this article Dr. Laura Schlessinger, who was on the Today Show said, “The cheating was his decision to repair what’s damaged and to feed himself where he’s starving,” look and read this. This what I mean we have to be aware of these men.
Then when we are aware of what our man is doing then as an act of revenge we go out and cheat and its wrong. I do not have friends that cheat on their husbands but if they do half of the times like this article explains, most of the time women cheat is because as an act of revenge, to tell you the truth that is not the answer. My ex cheated on me and it was people that actually seen him cheat, I never acted on revenge, my famous words were, "keep cheating because it is going to catch up to you and strike you in your face."
I always say that women will never get nothing out of cheating and I know it is hard for us to let go especially if we love sooo much, but why accept a man that cheats, Question, can we trust a man or husband after we learn he cheated, well this article by Crystal Ray, she writes "Damaged But Not Broken", and explains that not to let this bring us down but to let us learn from it and make us stronger, this is something to think about.

Not Married Over 40

This video was something else. I read it in the office where I work and I was reading so loud that it caught the attention of my boss and co-worker. I do not believe that this video is xenophobic what I believe is that this video is showing us how in foreign countries parents show their childern that life is about education. They teach their children to read very young and instill in their childern that if they want to have a life to educate yourself and become something which leads to becoming someone very important. Here in America we have it to easy and sometimes with all the distractions that are shown we do not take things serious especially about education. Even the foreign people that are here in America they keep their ways of life, the way they are raised, taught and make sure to teach those values to their children.

This video is also showing us that the future is coming with all this different technology that is coming. It is crazy how much money we spend on technology only for it to get how we call it "upgade" to something better or something faster. I guess everything will alway be upgraded only to find how that our world will become like the movie "Bicentenial Man" with Robin willams, and if you have never seen that movie go rent it and then you will understand what I mean.

Not Married Over 40

Last time I asked, is it better to cohabitate before marriage? Well this topic struck up in a conversation that I had with my girlfriends that are indeed happily married. One said, "If I would have known the type of man my husband is before I married him I would have lived with him first". I asked her why because this is one marriage that looks like it was meant to be. Well not to speak her business and I am not but I will say, and this is from her mouth, "he is lazy and sloppy and does not do anything in the house".
This link talks about the percentage of couples that are living together before marriage. One of the reasons that statistics show that it is better to cohabitate is because its a good way to save money. This I can agree with but being married, couples can still save money it is no difference. Now these statistics were from 80's to 90's, in my opinion we are in what 2009, I believe the numbers are even higher because this idea to alot of men is like this, some men feel that if they live with a woman the woman is not going to be concerned with being committed by marriage, that living together is enough for us we do not need to go any futher, well BS thats how I feel.
Now take a look at this article, it will help with some ideas of what to look for if you are a couple living together before marriage.
This article ," Should We Cohabitate Before Marriage?" it talks about religious reasons about cohabitating but it also points out other reasons to live together before getting married. Well I am not against living together before marriage, for real, but for me I really must know the man before I can accept any type of committment because, I was in a long term relationship in which I thought that this man would committ to me turns out he had been committed aight with two children, so you see this type of thing did not make me bitter but it made me aware not to fall for some BS that any type of man can bring to me so ladies WATCH OUT!!!!!!!!